Fairytale weddings and love forever are notions that only exist in the realm of fiction. Love is not a thing that happens but a process that also needs work. Quite often relationships begin with a great start where butterflies in the stomach and slow-mo-moments are common. But, a few months or a year into the relationship, the sailing becomes rocky. Misunderstandings, constant fights and bickering replace rosy conversations. Maintaining a relationship feels more like a dreary job than a zesty experience.
When relationships go through a rocky phase, seeking professional help can guide the relationship towards a healthier direction. Some may find the idea of couples’ therapy as a hopeless sign of the end, a sign that there is nothing left in the relationship, but that’s not the case. Couples’ therapy can help couples by allowing partners to relate better with each other, solve any misunderstandings, help with healthy expression of feelings and change the ways couples approached problems.
But when do you know that you need to go for couples’ therapy? We have mentioned below signs and behaviours that indicate a need for counselling.
The fighting never ends
This is one of the most obvious signs that indicate a need for couples’ counselling. When you and your partner cannot have a conversation without breaking into a fight, then it might be a good time to consider couples’ therapy. Fights are common in a relationship, but never-ending fights are a sure shot sign of things going haywire.
You are never on the same page
Apart from constant fights, there are times when you say something and your partner registers it as something completely different. You feel as if the two of you are speaking two different languages. This is also a sign that indicates a need for therapy. Couples’ therapy, not only helps in getting a better understanding of the problems but it also helps in cultivating healthier modes of communication between partners.
The same problems keep repeating
Having problems with your partner might be a common part of a relationship, but if the same problems persist, if you guys repeatedly fight over the same issues, then it is a sign of deeper problems than what you may be currently fighting about. Talking to a couples’ therapist can help both partners understand where they can improve and it also helps by allowing couples to fix their relationship in a supportive and healthy fashion.
When sex life doesn’t go as planned
If partners have mismatched expectations out of sex or have different sex-drives, then it can lead to disappointments, arguments and later, complications. If this happens, it is natural to feel that the spark in the relationship is dying. Talking to a therapist in such cases can reignite the chemistry in the relationship as partners learn to better manage and indulge in sex.
Apart from these cases, if you and your partner are going to make major life changes such as, having a baby, moving in together or getting married, even then it is a good idea to consult with a couples therapist who can help you transition through these changes without it stressing out your love life. A therapist can help both of you manage things better by preparing you for what’s to come during such major life changes.
Finally, it is ideal that you and your partner don’t wait for your relationship to hit the rock bottom and then look out for therapy to bring it back to normal as that looks like the last rays of hope; rather identify the signs and behaviours early in the relationship and start taking initiatives.
If you notice any of the above signs in your relationship or if you feel that the love is lost between the two of you and wish to make things better, then don’t hesitate to consult a couples’ counsellor and reignite your love life.